Photo by Sherise VD on Unsplash
For about a year before I retired, I kept asking everyone for ideas about what I should do to keep busy, to stay active, to find purpose during retirement. I thought about working for the local food bank, reading with children in Oakland schools, or volunteering to work at one of the county libraries.
Many people think they need to fill their retirement with activities. One retired nurse I know still rushes through her day trying to fill up every minute. She volunteers at the local hospital for three hours a week, sews quilts and activity blankets for seniors, takes walks, and feeds the birds. Yet, whenever she gets tired of these activities, she searches hectically to figure out what to do next.
For those who truly loved their careers, like many teachers and nurses I know, retirement is an especially challenging transition. I taught English to college students for 16 years. I’m proud of my growth as a reading, writing, and critical thinking professor and of my unique ability to inspire and educate students of all backgrounds and skills. My job gave me tremendous purpose and fulfillment.
To retire is to rest from the frenetic pace which a career often requires. Engaging in activities just to stay busy defeats its purpose. Instead, retirement’s purpose can blossom from the time available to reflect and explore new life paths.
After thinking long and hard about what my retirement purpose could be and by consulting advice from a variety of sources, I am now content in what my purpose for retirement will be; my primary purpose is now ME.
This goal may sound a little selfish to those who have strong feelings about doing charity work or participating in volunteer activities. Many people judge their own worth mostly by how much they give to others; however, if people ignore their own psychological well-being, they can’t offer their best self to others. Their volunteer work will be marred by feelings of stress and anxiety. Instead of leaving those they serve with better peace, they could even raise the anxiety levels of the people whose lives they hope to improve.
Focusing on the Process
Since my retirement is a brand-new phase of my life, I knew that I had to treat it as a process of discovery instead of expecting to know right away how to spend my retirement years. If I had assumed that my retirement would just “happen,” I would have been sorely disappointed.
The first thing I had to do was to avoid filling my days with busyness. Each day, I chose to do projects that make me happy. My own happiness is my primary goal since I know that, if I am happy, I will naturally share this joy with my family and community.
Thinking of retirement as a process gives me permission to be patient and to let my life unfold in a natural progression. It also gives me freedom to try new activities that I hadn’t previously thought of because I was so tenaciously focused on trying to be “retired with purpose.”
Viewing retirement as a process empowers me. Because I don’t assume I have to know how I will spend the rest of my life, I don’t stress about not having all the answers. I don’t expect to know what comes after today. I only know that what I do today will lead me to more knowledge about what I value and more opportunities; every day, I achieve personal growth and this growth teaches me what is possible next. I take confidence in my baby steps and know that my staircase has no last stair.
Re-evaluating Values
I’ve discovered that the voices in my head that drove my career and previous life are no longer all relevant. My new role in life, focusing on myself, encourages me to discard old “rules” that were given to me by my parents or previous bosses. Why? Some of those old rules don’t allow me to explore my true potential. I know retired people who have adopted a new spiritual focus by discarding the religion taught to them by their parents. Others have become creative for the first time by learning how to arrange flowers or paint in watercolors, activities far different than their careers. I am re-evaluating everything, and I feel great.
For example, I have decided to write short stories because I love fiction and think that it is one of the highest forms of creativity. I also walk and perform yoga which both help me feel healthy. When I finish one activity, I sit down and carefully choose my next one so that I don’t get caught up in mindless activity. I focus on the present with each activity, knowing it is enough and is leading me to a greater, happier self.
Releasing Negativity
I don’t want to be a crabby old lady who chases people away with her bitterness and narrow mindedness. I don’t want to act like a nasty old man that can find nothing positive in what others do because he can’t find his own joy. I want to cultivate joy within myself that will naturally touch others.
Sometimes, in order to build self-joy, a person must eliminate the negative energy of others or of negative activities that threatens to usurp their joy. I’ve chosen to to gradually eliminate anything or anyone that negatively affects my life. Since I don’t want to injure my knees or ankles, I only walk for as long as I am comfortable, and I never compete with others. I also set firm boundaries to prevent negative people from affecting my growth and joy. I take no responsibility for their development, only mine.
Measuring Growth
Since my retirement project is a process, I’ve found ways to measure my growth to witness progress. Here are some examples. Whenever I walk, I use an app on my phone to measure my steps and distance. I set rewarding goals for each day and observe how much I achieve per week. In my writing, I post my short stories and articles on this blog to feel “published” and to keep track of my accumulated posts. I also keep another blog for posting recipes that I create. When I garden, I take time to admire new plantings or newly pruned hedges. I observe and enjoy my growth on a daily basis or even several times a day.
Retirement truly is the gift of time to discover how life can be joyful, but a person must intentionally focus on achieving peace within themselves if they want to attain the greatest version of themselves. What better way to do this than to make my biggest retirement project all about me.
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